Wednesday, April 25, 2007

himegoto 43

Ah... depression strike again today... This is so miserable!!! WHY???

Like, so whatever... I really shouldn't care anymore about anything at all. What exactly is with me?? I feel so sick.



Short post today... I really don't have the energy to blah that long today... Not in the mood to. No school tomorrow again.. This is so boring...



Exam in two weeks, I'm dead meat...





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himegoto 42

Yo... Somebody's surprise birthday party finally... It was quite fun and she was surprised... Thanks goodness...



It was quite a fun day today, we played water balloon. Even though I didn't join in the water balloon fight... I did get wet all over... What happened was, after all the water balloons were used up, I just walked straight towards the swimming pool and sat at the edge. Laugh out loud. Mind you, it was raining then... Adds up to more fun...  But gawd, the swimming pool was so deep... Hey, I can't swim okay...



Right, Baskin Robbin's strawberry ice cream.. We had it all right. It was sooo sweet. Too bad I couldn't have the peppermint ice cream part of the cake. It was so yummy. And also, something not to be missed mentioning was her house's interior design.... To me, it's like paradise... So comfortable... So rich...



That's why... haha...



Anyway, I went home at 4pm and that's it for me. I'm so tired when I reached home. But before heading home, we stopped at our new home-to-be.



Great day. Nice day. Yep.



I showed another side of me then. =)





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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

himegoto 41

It is so difficult to organize a surprise birthday party, especially for her case. It's a mission impossible...



Now I'm making up a major story that I myself are even confuse of. Great, I might just let it slip through my tongue anytime if I'm not careful. Argh.. Can't she just pretend not to know and not to care for the sake of everybody's fun. I'm so tortured... Not for real, but very likely. What am I suppose to do now?



So many people's birthday in just one week, at least five of them I think... Four schoolmates and one special friend. Cool. Why? I'm broke. Buying presents are costly which is why the idea of people buying presents for me is totally not appealing to me. All I need is their wishes and most sincere blessings, that's truly the best that I can ask for. Definitely better than those materialistic stuff they always buy... It really means nothing or maybe just a medium to show affection for them. However, this particular thinking is not for me of course. Yep.



I would be happy if anyone give me anything. But I actually feel guilty about it because it is not as if I can keep all those presents forever right? There's quite  few time that I gave away some of my own birthday presents as others' birthday presents. I actually do not want that. But what to do? It's a custom. And I can't be buying stuff each time it's somebody's birthday. I will not be able to reserve some savings for my own. So, pur-leasee..... I so not agree with this idea, even though it's a very old tradition. No, I'm gonna change it. At least for me, it's a special case. If other people want to continue to do that, I don't really mind. Serious. Argh, party... Actually, it's not like I even care. I've never really do care about celebrating my own birthday lavishly... Bu, of course an individual would be happier with such events going on.



Sigh, I hope my "big plan" is working out well enough. It's so twisted and confusing now. Just pretend you don't know anything at all please!!



And lastly, great. I chatted with a friend at last. I don't mind if it's a very short conversation. I just need to know about the latest and more important stuff. That's all I ask for. Well, some proper conversation unlike those I had in school. School people are kinda girlish. This country is going to be dominated by girls soon. Laugh out loud. I don't want that to happen!! There'll be more competition between the girls - fighting or guys of course!





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Sunday, April 15, 2007

himegoto 40

Woa, just as I'm about to post in an entry... My dear friend called... But woa, she was crying so violently... Erm, family matters... Religious stuff... But I'm full of concern for her... She sounded like she's not getting her life... Oh my gawd... Somebody please give me some guidance on how to help her through with this... And whatever I said better not be misleading. Who knows... Seriously...

Sigh... May god bless you dear friend. The most sincere blessing from me - the human saint...



Right, monthly test next week.. And I'm so not in the mood to study... What's going to become of me if I continue this. My brain is really failing on me... Is it because of addiction to the Internet? Or is it really anime? I hope it is neither. I still need a life. Maybe, I'm just not determined enough... Work harder, work harder ma' girl-self...



Yesterday night, some birthday party of my classmate. It was okay, but I did not enjoy it to the fullest since my time spent there lack proper communication. That's bad, was it just me - the weird one - or them??? And why is all these emotion attacking periodically?? Have you not torture me enough? Sigh. Again. Shouldn't be sighing so often. Not a good thing... oh yeah...



And damn, I forgot about her birthday until I checked my diary. But weird, and I was constantly thinking about her too. It's like I knew something about her is up... And yeah then I realized, it's her birthday. And just as I've done sending her a birthday wish through short message service, she called up...crying...



(Read above again)



Blessings to all existence from deep in my heart.





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Friday, April 13, 2007

himegoto 39

Today is sooo boring...



Okay, before I start today's stuff... Here's a bit of this week's stuff...

I know the above statement sound similar, but whatever... I'm so not in the mood right now... Please.



What I want to say is - I missed school on Monday and Tuesday, yep, all thanks to shingles. Should have stayed home as well on Wednesday... But whatever now anyway, not like I can turn back... Even though I wish I could.



I suddenly realize this sometime not long ago, maybe yesterday. If I would have to choose a superpower, it would be the power of believe. I strongly believe that this particular power is the strongest of all. Why have I not thought about that? I wonder. I'm so stupid and traditional. Traditional because, whenever people ask me that question, I'm sure to answer powers like telepathy, invisibilty and some others which are at the bottom of my short list. Well, seriously, the power of believe is truly the strongest power of all.



So, why did I say so? Believe is a strong word of abstract. In terms of psychic or super natural power, if you believe that you could do anything and possess powers like others, and your power of believe is capable of making your "beliefs" come true - wa cha! Do you get what I mean now? Believing means you can do lots of things. Lots and lots of it!!! Isn't tat cool?



I'm so dumb about constantly not thinking out of the box.



However,



The power of believe not only exist in that way. It exist among us as well.

That we must remember. Believe is a power that everybody has but just take time to realize and fully nurture it.



Believe me.





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Saturday, April 7, 2007

himegoto 38

I went to see the doctor again today. Well, concerning my herpes zoster. It was quite cool. And instead of being too worried or afraid of its complications after the viral infection, I am rather feeling more excited than all that. So was the doctor, I realized today. It's like, he was rather glad and proud of himself in a good way that he had diagnosed it quite precisely. And the true intention of him asking me to come to him again was to confirm his diagnosis. Laugh out loud. Seriously funny.



It was painful but not as bad as it was a few days ago. I had to feed on the Acyclovir for another five days. For yours information, the medicine was quite costly. One of those tablets was RM2.50. It was expensive to me at least. My total medical fees summed up to RM233. It was quite expensive as compared to previous medical fees that I had to spent on before. But well, money is nothing to health. One's health is definitely more important than the former.



This was a great experience. Its pain might be unbearable at some time. Even though so, I've learned quite much from this incident. All I hope is that it won't leave any dreadful scars on my face. On the bright side, I am not worry about any complications which are serious after today. Those complications include prolonged pain, partial facial paralysis, ear damage, blindness....etc. Oh well, I hope for the best.



Yet, this is the time where I gained my laughter back after like some three to four months. I've been quite miserable lately if you would like to know, refer to those previous posts I had. Yeah, it said on the internet that emotional stress could be one of the reasons that weaken my immune system and consequently unable to surpress the dormant virus in which it starts causing rashes and blisters outbreak on one's skin. Yea, it is also only on one side of the body, not both. This is something very interesting and unique. It was because of this characteristic of the symptoms that made the doctor diagnosed it as herpes zortes. Herpes simplex virus type-1 luckily, which only occurs on the upper half of the body. I do not want it to be a herpex simplex virus type-2 as that would happen to the lower half of the body, most likely those private places. Oh no, I don't want to imagine that, i would be super painful!! Yikes!!



The thing is, this incident might recur or might not recur ever again. Thus making it a once in a lifetime experience. It is good actually and I've been very cheerful about it and very very very optimistic. Having said that should there be any scars left over on the right-side of my face, I would wear a mask to school. Nevertheless, I joked to myself about how I would become the next Phantom of the Opera. In this case, it might not be the opera, but something else. In a way, still similar in style of the Phantom. Laugh out loud. I'm having a plentiful of good time.



Before I forget, the next best thing about this is - I get to skip school for three solid days. WONDERFUL!!!



P.S. As I was researching about it on the net, I initially hoped for a month. That seems impossible. Laugh out loud. My wild imagination!!





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Thursday, April 5, 2007

himegoto 37

Should have blogged earlier on the 1st of April. Nevertheless, it was April Fool's Day. I was fooled by just one dear friend. Not that I'm being extra careful that day even though I would, it's just that, nobody even come up to me and try to prank me. Nobody. Except her of course. Friends? Bah... Still waiting for some so-called gift though. But for that, I don't really mind since I'm not giving him anything of that sort anyway. He was probably just joking that time.



April... ah... I thought it would be less hectic a month to live through. However, little did I know that there's more to come and things are not so well for me lately.



There's sports practice commencing for about 3 weeks long. That's torture. Seriously. Two precious hours wasted for nothing. We exhaust ourselves enough during that short but unbearable enough 2 hours. How are the students suppose to concentrate in class, I wonder. None of my concern anyway, since I'm a senior and I don't really have to do anything other than sit and watch. I don't mind if people call me useless.. I'm just as useful as any other soul in this world in truth, this I know in my heart. No regrets.



So, what's the bad thing? I've got herpes. More specifically Herpes Zortes. The symptoms are tingling, itching, swelling around the area with blister, sore, burning, pain and etc... Worst still, it's giving me a lot of headache and ear pain. Still, I must be grateful that this is only happening on one side of my head - particularly the right side. I went to see the doctor today, and he seem quite concerned about my illness. I guess the main reason is that, he thought the blisters would start growing in the nerves near the eye and that would be bad because it might affect my sight. Hey, mind you, it IS the nerve in my body we are talking about. Even if one nerve is gone, life will be a heck of a total disaster. Yes, I'm grateful for being what I am now. Really.



It is really painful... That stinging feeling... It's so uncomfortable. I couldn't concentrate in class either. That's bad. I will constantly want to reach out to those sores and scratch them but of course I won't. At some other times, I would clutch my right ear yelping quietly in pain. The doctor said that maybe the blisters are growing on the inside of my ear. I was really taken aback that time. Having known what it was, I'm really worried. Why must my health condition be this bad? It wasn't as bad when I didn't transfer to this school back the. Just why??



Do get well soon my dear.

*sigh*





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