himegoto

Sadness, that's what drove me into this. I do not understand myself well, so I think... But there is always this ego in me that says: I'm the mastermind of all happenings..

As a safety precaution, the true meaning behind all that I typed will need to be thought of deeply; that is if you ever want to know what's going on here anyway...

Anyway, I hope nobody or no one at all could track me all the way here, again, if they ever even bother to... Well, I'm not only sophisticated and complex, I, me, somehow someway somewhat is a sick person. Scared? I'm not surprise.. as you might...

Seriously, I've considered letting somebody else - somebody professional - to "encrypt" me, to tell me if I'm normal enough. Especially on the way I think, my mind.. It's driving me mad, crazy, insane... everything. I do not understand.

I can speak it all out in my mind - imagining conversations within myself with myself... Illogical? Nonsense? It could be normal though? However, all attempts to make it into a "hard copy", an output of some sort or through any means of media are to no avail. I just could not get it out and yes, that's definitely bad...

Why is it bad? You know something, keeping EVERYTHING to yourself is never really a good idea. You will still desire a person in which you can have faith in to appear suddenly in front of you so that you are able to "share" your thoughts, your burdens, your desperation, your endless complaints, your shameless sorries for your ownself... What the hell? See what I mean, I'm never good at writing stuff, they rot- literally. Back to it, I've been retaining a lot of "darkness" in me, not letting it out at all... Yea, it's painful...

Psychology? Kidding me... The more I think about this things, the more confused I'm getting, I believe... haha.. But, I love it... I really love it...